by Jason Mellard | Aug 9, 2024 | Blog, Same-Sex Attraction
I believe the greatest driver of unwanted same-sex attractions is a belief and feeling of separateness. In my life, I believed I was separate from other guys and masculinity as a whole. I was often out of touch with my power and purpose. And even while a believer, I...
by Jason Mellard | Aug 2, 2024 | Blog
I once believed my unwanted same-sex attractions were bigger than me and my dreams. I’ve learned that’s not the case. It was the fear and shame I allowed myself to experience in response to them that made my attractions feel so overwhelming. I imagine it like blowing...
by Jason Mellard | Jul 19, 2024 | Blog
A belief of separateness from masculinity is a primary driver of same-sex attractions. As a boy, I had an out-of-body experience during a father-son activity meant to bring connection. The “wrestling” he initiated ended in me laying on my back pinned between his...
by Jason Mellard | Jul 12, 2024 | Blog
When I finally decided I was open to the idea of marriage and family, I wondered if it was even possible. I searched for evidence from both my past and present that might give me confidence. I found some. I also found lots of evidence to snuff out the idea. If I could...
by Jason Mellard | Jul 9, 2024 | Blog
Dear Younger Me, I wish I could be next to you right now, giving you the attention you deeply desire but haven’t received. But I want you to know that I see you. I am familiar with the long route home you walk to avoid the bullies. I can picture the sidewalk cracks...
by Jason Mellard | Jul 5, 2024 | Blog
When I was young, the mirror was a comfort to me. My reflection gave me certainty; it told me I was likable and competent. I was touring the architecture building at my future college. I widened my eyes at the vast, bustling space as I walked through the glass entry...
